The Art Of Suicide
by The Stalker In Your Closet
Summary: Litchi notices something wrong with Carl, but decides not to do anything about it. Who knew that would haunt her for the rest of her days? No romantic pairing. Three-Shot. Warning: Suicide, Cutting, and Character Death. Song fic to 'The Art Of Suicide' by Emilie Autumn. Decided to complete.
1. Chapter 1

_Why live a life_  
_ That's painted with pity and sadness and strife?_  
_ Why dream a dream_  
_ That's tainted with trouble and less than it seems?_  
_ Why bother bothering_  
_ Just for a poem or another sad song to sing?_  
_ Why live a lie?_

_-Emilie Autumn 'The Art Of Suicide'_

Carl walked aimlessly in Orient Town. He didn't have a destination, and he felt numb. Very numb.

Nirvana, or Ada, his sister, walked behind him. She was silent, and her joints creaked as she walked along. _I have to find some new parts for her,_ he thought. Carl was deep in thought, thinking about what parts he could afford to help Ada. He wasn't paying attention, and accidentally ran into someone. "Ah, excuse me," he said.

"Carl?" The young boy looked up, and saw a familiar face. It was Litchi Faye-Ling, a doctor, as well as a role model for him.

"Hi, Miss Litchi," Carl tried to smile, but, to his surprise, he couldn't. He found this odd, but thought nothing of it.

"How have you been?" she asked. She truly cared for him, and his sister.

"Fine. Just kind of wondering, you know?" For some reason, he wanted to leave. He enjoyed Miss Litchi's company, but he felt... tired. Tired and numb.

Litchi smiled. "Do you want to come back to the clinic with me? I was shopping for some groceries to make lunch," she asked, "Linhua brought a cake for her birthday."

"Sure. I'll go, Miss Litchi." Carl tried his best to smile, but it just couldn't happen. He followed Litchi the way he came. Ada, in turn, followed Carl. He thought back to the parts he would have to buy for her.

"Carl, is everything okay?" Litchi asked as she readjusted the paper bags filled with various foods, "You seem... gloomier than usual."

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine," Carl said, not really paying attention. Litchi was aware of his self destructive behaviors, as with the incident with the special drug he took. She cared for him. He really was too young to be fighting this much...

"Okay, then," she said, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She looked at the child, but noticed something odd about him. His left wrist held a white mark... a scar. Has he... has he been cutting himself? Litchi gasped.

Carl looked up at her. "I know," he said, "Is something the matter?" They continued walking. The crowd in Orient Town was small, with it being early afternoon and a weekday.

"Carl, this may seem like an odd question, but..." Litchi trailed off before collecting her thoughts again, "Have you been cutting yourself?" They stopped walking, and Litchi faced him. She was dead serious.

Carl unconsciously hid his left hand behind him. "N-No..." he muttered. Litchi grabbed his hand, and pulled down his sleeve. Unfortunately, she was right. There were scars from where he had been cutting himself.

"Carl-!" She gasped. He's... so young. He's been through so much. Why was he cutting himself? "Carl... why?"

He pulled his wrist away. "It's nothing you'd understand," he muttered coldly. Nirvana straightened from her usual slouching position.

"We all go through our battles, but what differs from each of us is the people we fight those battles with," Litchi advised, "Whatever's happening, Carl, please know that you aren't alone. I'll listen to you anytime, and I'm sure Bang will do the same."

"Do you have a father that treats everyone like they're objects?" He snapped. Litchi flinched. It was unusual to here such harsh words from the boy. As for Carl, he knew he should have felt anger, or something, but he still felt numb. "Do you even have a father at all?"

Litchi stared at the young boy as if she was trying to figure something out. She cocked her head to the right, and her pink eyes were half closed. Her father never was present in her childhood. Her mother said he died when she was pregnant with her. Her mother was a nurse, working at a well staffed hospital just outside of Shanghai. She considered telling him about her past, but decided against it.

Instead, she said, "You're very angry at your father. And from what he's done, I understand that, but you can't go out hurting yourself or others in your frustration." She smiled, trying to comfort him.

"No. You're wrong," he said, "You don't understand, and you never will. Goodbye, Miss Litchi. Thank you for everything." He walked away. Ada walked behind him, now in her crouch position.

"Carl, wait!" Litchi shouted. She knew she should've went after him, but she didn't. And much to her demise, it would be one of the biggest mistakes in her life.

* * *

**I don't really like where this is going. I know cutting and suicide are touchy subjects, and I apologize to anyone who finds this offensive.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Why live a life_  
_ That's painted with pity and sadness and strife?_  
_ Why dream a dream_  
_ That's tainted with trouble and less than it seems?_  
_ Why bother bothering_  
_ Just for a poem or another sad song to sing?_  
_ Why live a lie?_

_-Emilie Autumn 'The Art Of Suicide'_

Carl walked down a crowded alley filled with rotting trash. He was fuming. He will never forgive his father! Never!

Her kicked an old pop can out of his frustration. It bounced off of the wall. "Don't worry, Ada," he said, spinning to face his sister, "I love you, too. I've tried, Sis. I've tried that, too. I'll never forgive our father, but there isn't much I can do. I'm too weak." Nirvana shifted noisily. "Yes I am. I'm too weak! You're just like everyone else! You don't understand! No one does..." Nirvana walked over to Carl, and hugged him. Even though her body was cold, Carl knew the warmth she was trying to give him. "Thank you, Ada, but it's hard to keep promises nowadays."

* * *

Carl stayed out of the shopping district of Kagutsuchi, but instead made a surprising move. He went to Sector Seven laboratories. "Kid, what do you want? I'm very busy," Professor Kokonoe practically screamed through the intercom system. She's out of lollipops, and had sent Tager to get the good kind in Kazumotsu.

"I just wanted to bring Ada in for some maintenance," Carl answered truthfully.

"Oh, Nirvana? Bring her in, then." Carl grimaced at Kokonoe's calling her 'Nirvana' but bit his tongue as the giant steel doors opened. The giant lab held various test tubes, beakers, lethal chemicals, and one of her servants, ready for action. Kokonoe was sitting at a desk to his right. She was writing something down, the pen cap between her teeth. "When was the last time you brought her in, anyway?" Kokonoe asked, "I imagine that she'll need a lot of work."

Carl sighed. Kokonoe did top notch repairs, with the parts she needs usually lying around, but she made him pay a deep price. She quickly scribbled something down, and spit out the pen cap. "Say, Kid, you look down. Something's been eatin' ya?" She placed the pen on her desk, and turned back to examine Ada.

She moved her arm, listening to the joints squeak. "Oh, nothing," Carl lied, "Just thinking."

"Don't do too much of that, Kid," she joked, "Just look where that lead me. By the sounds of it, some bolts probably rusted. I'll have to take her apart." Kokonoe lead her to a table, mostly for her comfort. "I'm going to turn you off. Even if you can't feel pain, who'd want to see themselves ripped apart?" She said, mostly to Nirvana. She leaned her head up, and opened a small panel. It was connected to her central power core. Kokonoe flipped a switch, and Carl lost all sense of his sister.

"Are you sure this won't effect her soul?" Carl asked. Even though Ada was older, Carl looked after her, and tried his best to protect her.

"Nope," Kokonoe answered truthfully, "Which is why I'll turn her back on every five minutes." She set an old-fashioned kitchen timer to five minutes, and wrote something down in her notes. Carl frowned. "Don't worry," she comforted, "Your sister has a human soul. On average, a human can survive about eight minutes without air."

"You're basing this on average?" he questioned.

"Yeah. Now sit down. You're distracting me," Kokonoe gestured at some empty desk chairs. She hesitated before saying, "Oh, and don't worry about payment. This'll be on the house."

"Really? Thank you, Professor." Again, Carl tried to smile, but couldn't. This was starting to get annoying. _If only she knew_, Carl thought. He sighed, and slowly spun around in his chair, letting his thoughts wonder again. He was interrupted by the timer buzzing. Kokonoe put the wrench down, and closed the panel she was working on. She lifted her head, and turned her back on.

"Hi, Ada," Carl greeted.

"Try not to move your arm too much. I'm still working on it," she tapped on a tablet, "This will ring every five minutes. It's going to be a pain, but I'll have to work on your circuit board next. It got messed up somehow." She walked back to her desk, to write something down.

"How did it feel to be asleep?" Ada couldn't 'sleep'. It was impossible for machines to sleep, as Carl learned over the years. "Ah, I see. Did you have a dream. Really? Do you remember when I was little and I had the really bad nightmare? I forget what it's about now, but you read me a story and I fell back asleep. Thank you, Ada. You're really the best sister anyone could ask for..."

Ada was cut off mid-sentence when the buzzer rang. "Alright, time to get back and cracking!" She cracked her knuckles before turning of Nirvana. Kokonoe opened the arm panel, and grabbed the wrench.

"Professor, is it okay if I go get a bite to eat?" He asked, "I haven't eaten anything all day."

"Sure, go ahead," Kokonoe said, turning to look at him, "But be back as soon as you can, okay? These things vary in time."

"Okay," Carl agreed, "Bye, Professor."

"Later, Kid," Kokonoe paid no attention as he walked out. _Poor kid_, Kokonoe couldn't help but think _He goes through Hell everyday. How can you live like this, Carl?_

The sun was already set, and the sky was already darkening. After a few minutes of searching, Carl found the perfect place. Behind another alley filled with garbage was a half-way clean building. The fire escape was already down. He ditched his cape and hat before climbing up.

The city was beautiful. The dark orange of the sunset made Kagutsuchi seem pure, in a way. Lights were flickering on in various buildings. Carl walked to the edge, and looked down. It was a six story drop. "I'm sorry, Ada," he muttered, "I wish I could take your place." He took off his shoes, tossing them carelessly to the side.

And, with one last breath, with the city's purity surrounding him, Carl stepped off of the roof.


End file.
